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fear snubbed it out - cassandra troyan

from a chill emotional state by lit on lit mixed tapes

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    this cassettes will be lovingly forged in the depths of my bedroom. album art insert + plastic shell included. there will be 15 for sale, and an additional 15-25 made for the contributors/promotion.. thats pretty #RARE. order while supplies last.. literally! this is a preorder. i will ship the tapes after i get enough funds to order them + the time to make them, should be about a week or so. shipping included (in the u.s.)! if you want to order outside of the u.s. message me on facebook and we will figure it out.

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lyrics

i once listen to tom wait’s “fawn” 71 times while masturbating.

i just used my hand.

i rubbed myself raw until
the sweat and tears and blood
made a chum paste which became an armature
for my idolatry aka there is a sweetness in wanting
to be an animal.
only fawns are tender.
only we are wanting; others just are.

I'M A PERSON JUST LIKE YOU
BUT I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO
THAN SIT AROUND AND FUCK MY HEAD

trade in your bullet vest
for a jersey and steal
the fucking keg man
ya do it for the band.

what is a blood line
what does it mean
when you buy it

to get fucked
by three guys
face down on a coffee table
in a room full of friends.
what does it mean to watch.
what does it mean to like it.

WAKE&BAKE SIP THAT LEAN
YOU CAN SMOKE
THAT GREEN GET HIGH.

when your guts dehisce
that juiced hose black and slippery
back out to the block out

shots of 151 until you come to right as
walking up the stairs drinking a handle of Jack
and eating an orange creamsicle oh this is not
what was happening before always moving.
the strangled pain of transit
as no thoughts happen in stillness.
somersault through the front door
then ring the bell at 4 am and why not drink
a liter of vodka and take 12 vicodin

death is a great way to peacefully
reencounter yourself.

credits

from a chill emotional state, released August 30, 2012

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lit on lit mixed tapes El Cerrito, California

manipulated cassette poetry 4 life

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