my psychotechnology my traffic jam my battlefield where the sun says I see you my originary resilience my boat with no motor coughing up the texture of the stars my water that hasn't kept an image my brief description in this field of activity my controlled accident my dark room full of mirrors my snowflood my foghorns my horrible sleep my lightningbolt my science of silence my sentient sentences my neurophysical centers my dark blue polkadot buttondown my sharp cheddar & spinach my Yerba Mate my image of an ancient saint dreaming of computers my tongue in the thunder's mouth my universal dark my tall glass of water my remaining ghost my duffle bag my microscope my tired eyes

why yes, i am swagged up, thanks for asking why yes, i am off a pill, thanks for asking pill that transcribes all your thoughts while on it pill that translates tummy rumbles into english, cantonese, esperanto pill that makes you immune to gangnam style pill that keeps your nails filed pill that gives you, at its peak, 100 additional tumblr followers pill form of popeye's can of spinach pill that allows you to understand dialup sounds pill that keeps you from drunkenly subtweeting your ex yeah, i need that

breathing ----------------- When I wade, and wade, and wade over ripples and under blue boats glassleaves light harps and marine bassy sounds filling the shallows through water where fish live and I can only almost see them through the salty green sand blushed up in its damned murkyness ---------------------- God comes out in my flashlight, with all the little dusts and soupy clouds (I opened my mouth wide) ---------------------- rub my clay in the wild grass ----------------------- brains dripping downt my nose ---------------------- I pulled down from something hanging off the top of the bookshelf. I pulled down till all the wood bent and the books came tumbling backwards onto me but i had my fingers itching the tippy top, itching the dusty shelves ----------------- jeans and arms and teeth. my face and my hair. I want to stretch until the fluid runs down until god crawls down my throat and my neck pulls and I drink apple juice and I sleep and i sleep in the cum and im full of milk --------------------- a cinnamon devil pulls me into heavy green moss through wooden depth and her windmills and the ropes round her neck covered in algae promising me angels in the blue water behind my eyes she burns from her stomach and sings in all oil colors this poor girl --------------------- old strange things and big books with dusty covers and moths and waves and birds and mountains deeply far off and blue bags of salt in big hands with white sweat all the warm drains down my belly all the biggest sighs there was a light like water above the sidewalk, and on the waves there was a shaking something and my stomach turned to a boat of newspapers and we sailed off

my boyfriend looks me straight in the eye when he's kissing me. i mean straight in the eye. i don't even want to close my eyes because if i did i would feel like i'm missing out. my boyfriend has hazel eyes, but when they are that close to my face, they are sunlit meadows surrounded by stratus clouds. i'm sitting on the edge of my moon's beach and i jump off into space, drifting through stardust till i reach his atmosphere which encloses me with warmth.

The inside of the earth is hollow and creatures like us live inside Many ancient cultures recognized and appreciated this truth They staged expeditions to reach the interior from the north pole I want to tell you we are mirrored by unknown creatures With their own customs and traits and secret hatred they stand upside down, to us Every volcano is a valley, they feel the vibration of our walking, and earthquakes result in a re-alignment of the sky anything else is speculation But I know I love to fear them

I am the wind and I am the opposite of the wind I am happy to be alive I love chaos I love my life and my hands are extensions of my brain and i use them to poke you on Facebook and to lift a glass of water to my mouth i can do that i can fix things with my hands i can touch you with my hands while kissing you and feeling so good it feels so good so listen can't you feel the universe breathing? can't you see it's zillion petals blooming? i am an exploding flower.

years of misfortune it all goes to show 2012, kill yourself we don't love you no mo 2012, fuck yourself you love you, you bore you barren space baron taxes too much 2012, fuck you too fuck calling girls sluts words, whats and whats and so's and so's and SOS impetuous, impotent sperm donors kill the banks, and the rest of us fuck 2012, fuck 1990 fuck 1560, fuck 1867 get fucked don't remind us

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i own and use a guillotine i believe i am a “brotha-elf” i have threesomes with my twin brother i have six different personalities i am homeless and work as a robot mime i cry every time i drink alcohol i don’t reciprocate oral sex i don’t believe in marriage im a 33-year-old virgin i drink every night im an outlaw in mexico i only sleep 2 hours a night i only own 3 outfits i have a freezer full of sperm i hate the sun i think all women are cheaters i am morbidly afraid of cotton balls i give my horses more attention than my girlfriends i am a penniless clown i have been on 35 singles cruises i prefer anonymous sex

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THE SKIN FROM YOUR TOE IS CONNECTED TO THE SKIN ON YOUR EAR . WE HAVE A SUIT . A SUIT OF SKIN . IM LISTENING TO AMBIENT SOUNDS IN THE DARK RIGHT NOW WHILE THE STORMS OUT . CLOSING MY EYES . IM FLYING . I SEE A LIGHT IN THE MIST . CARS OR PEOPLE SEEM TO BE MOVING IN FRONT OF IT . I FLY CLOSER . I SEE A TREE . ITS TALKING TO ME . IT SAYS HI . I SAY HI BACK TO THE TREE . IT DOESN’T NOTICE ME. I FEEL SAD . I FLY INTO THE TREE FULL SPEED . I GET A BRANCH THROUGH MY HEART. I HOPE YOURE HAPPY TREE . ITS LEAVES GROW AROUND ME . I BECOME A TREE. I LIVE A THOUSAND YEARS . LEAVES FALL . I FLOAT AWAY . . . . THE STORM HAS STOPPED . I SEE CLOUDS MOVING AS IF THERE WAS A FIREWORK SHOW ENDING . IT IS STILL DARK . IM STILL HERE . IVE MADE IT . I LIVE IN DREAMS . I LIVE IN REALITY . THEY CROSS OVER SEAMLESSLY . I AM NEVER ASLEEP . I DREAM IN THE DAY. I DREAM IN THE DARK .

plural realities now that you have retracted i am going to breathe water, which is the opposite of drowning. how we exist beyond our skeletons is truly some sort of miracle that should be overlooked. gestures of love are extensions of self that resonate through others. you were just in time, i was just about to explode everywhere. i was wanting to be discovered. i was transfixed by the light in your eyes. the full moon lasted for months. everything felt instinctual. everything flew out of me and into you. ‘come run away with me to that distant distance where whatever we imagine being there will be there.’ i was amazed at how you reflected me. forget the eroticism, i am trying to articulate the death of a feeling as a simple way of going faster than the light. i want to forget now, or something. ‘don’t touch me,’ you said. ‘i feel passed over,’ i said. ‘we are dangerous visionaries,’ you said. ‘we are back where we started.’ ‘no one can touch you and i know why.’ a rainbow is caused by reflection.

when we finally emerge and reach the surface we are on the shore long enough to breathe only & then swiftly swept off with tidalwaves washed out & speckled into bursts of seafoam along costal rocks and into deepwaters your eyes are the ocean vast and endless(ly) :mesmerizing: i sink in them; drown in your azure depths

Wow, lift up my dress and tell me that you love me Kiss me a little bit then tell me that im wearing too much chapstick Don’t be afraid to bite The wind is blowing and we are both burned from it no one is around and no one cares I tie my hair in a psyche knot you pull off your knitted socks Who thought life together would be so easy I have taken enough personality tests to know we both believe in nothing but the Quick and the Good tell me about your teleology let me read your palms It is hard to love but we are both standing in a valley Who thought life could be so easy, so good

how many interstate boyfriends do you have i want a list with addresses and phone numbers i feel afraid that you’re going to disappear somewhere and you’ll be in a news story and there will be a cruise ship perth, australia we might never see you again your dear sweet mother with her arcing piano fingers will cry and cry for days and then breathe and then cry again where is the last magazine i sent you is it still in your diesel trunk engine with the spare tire and the painted red jack and a 12 pack of cokes i need to know that you’re enriching metals for me in the space between now and the alarm clock

THINGS THAT I PUT INTO SARAH’S MOUTH I. “The only girl I ever loved was born with roses in her eyes…” The song with that lyric plays on the outdoor speakers, sounding something like summertime, like cherries under my thumbnails and red dripping down the front of my blouse. But in the mountains it is cold. There are tea lights that are dim. In the woodshed behind Sarah’s house there is a small purple something hanging from a chair: “Why do you have such a small belt? Is it a baby belt?” “No… it's a dog belt.” We laugh and forget the word for collar. We run out of the shed, past a lake and a family graveyard. We don't know those bones but I know what it feels like to know a dead girl. Her text messages are in my phone. I don’t look at them but I keep them there. It seems fucked up to delete a dead girl’s texts. It seems pointless. She is already gone. I know that it is only productive to think of what is here because only what is here can think of me. But still, I think about the dead girl while I look at the girl that is sitting next to me, on a bench suspended from a tree. Sarah is like the dead girl, like me. Bipolar. “Sarah.” “Yeah?” “Do you want to switch?” I trade the carrot that I am smoking out of for the apple that she has. Sarah asks me if I want to shotgun. I nod my head up and down and the motion causes my face to feel cold. I feel excited to touch Sarah’s lips. Sarah takes a hit from the carrot and inhales. I press my lips, slightly opened, against hers as she exhales into my mouth. II. I'm on campus a day earlier than the last day of winter break. I walk up two flights of steps to get from my second floor dorm room to Sarah’s third floor dorm room. I knock on the door and hope that she is on campus a day earlier than the last day of winter break as well. Sarah opens the door. She is wearing plaid flannel pajama pants and a grey tank top. I ask her if she wants to walk around or sit or stand or lay down with me. We decide to walk. I watch her put on jeans and a sweater. We walk to the 7-11 and then we walk through the Crim Dell Meadow. We sit in the leaves next to two bronzed statues of a couple in love. The guy statue is lying down on his side and the girl statue is sitting upright. She is reading a letter. Sarah and I mimic their poses and eat black pepper kettle chips. Sarah takes out a pack of lucky strikes and talks about pelicans and the 50s. Her face becomes animated and she uses her hands to make pelicans and abstract art in the air in front of our faces. She talks about how her grandfather locked himself in his basement and drew portraits of pelicans from memory until died. She lifts up her shirt to show me a pelican tattoo that I’ve seen before. I look at the tattoo again and I take the cigarette out of Sarah’s mouth and place it into the mouth of the statue. We watch the statue smoke and think about taking an instagram picture. III. In the attic of our building we sit on an old couch and watch a show about pets that have killed their owners but Sarah isn’t really paying attention to the show about pets that have killed their owners. She is on her laptop showing her breasts and her ass to strangers on Chatroulette. I throw pieces of popcorn at Sarah’s body to try to win over her attention from strangers on the Internet. Sarah turns to me and concentrates on my hand. I lob a piece of popcorn into the air and she it in her mouth. “Where did you get the popcorn?” “I found it on the floor next to the couch. It should be OK.” After a few minutes Sarah becomes board of Chatroulette and interested in the show about pets that have killed their owners. We both eat the floor popcorn and watch the TV as a man is eaten alive by his pet komodo dragons. We then watch as the komodo dragons subsist off of his flesh until the police arrive, weeks later. IV. Weeks later I receive an email from Sarah: Hey, I'm not sure if you have heard but I had to leave school for the rest of the semester. I had a pretty bad episode of mania and needed to have access to my support network at home. It was so wonderful getting to know you this semester and I want to keep in touch. Your tin is on my desk but I smoked whatever was left in there. Please pick it up before you leave for finals because otherwise I'm not sure how I'll get it to you. Love, Sarah