a chill emotional state

by lit on lit mixed tapes

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    this cassettes will be lovingly forged in the depths of my bedroom. album art insert + plastic shell included. there will be 15 for sale, and an additional 15-25 made for the contributors/promotion.. thats pretty #RARE. order while supplies last.. literally! this is a preorder. i will ship the tapes after i get enough funds to order them + the time to make them, should be about a week or so. shipping included (in the u.s.)! if you want to order outside of the u.s. message me on facebook and we will figure it out.

    Includes unlimited streaming of a chill emotional state via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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about

compiled and edited by nathan springer

no glykon and cassandra gillig edited their own work

artwork by stefanie economos: www.facebook.com/stefanie.economos

REMIXES by ZACHARY GOLDHAMMER: soundcloud.com/zartorius/sets/the-lit-on-lit-tapes/

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license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

lit on lit mixed tapes El Cerrito, California

manipulated cassette poetry 4 life

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Track Name: that noise from the start of 'circle of life' - crispin best
hello, assholes
so i am having my first snowball fight of the year
and holy shit it is awesome
tonight i want to tell you that the moon is my favourite kind of indirect light
but instead i’m 5 years old throwing snowballs like i’m 5 years old today

my internal monologue says “nothing rhymes with orange”
and i’m like “wow dumbass no it doesn’t”
i throw a tiny snowball and you catch it in your mouth thirty feet away
so yes i am the spooky janitor character in the direct-to-video movie of your life
and no-one has leaned over and kissed me for a long time

with your gloves on your ears now you are the world’s rarest moose
but i throw a snowball directly up and close my eyes
please god jesus let it land on my head
it doesn’t and you walk over laughing and i feel sad
you take the snowball out of my hood and smash it into my face

snow is cold as shit when you’re 5 and i love it
the last time someone kissed me i could feel their mouth smiling
and i don’t know if that is good
but ok i am a power station in your goddamn countryside tonight
and on a scale of alive we are alive
Track Name: let me tell you a secret - jackson nieuwland
Centaurs aren’t half human half horse

They are half human half unicorn



Mermaids aren’t half human half fish

They are half centaur half fish



Angels are half mermaid half bird

Which means they’re quarter centaur

Which means they’re an eighth unicorn

And some unicorns have wings

And some unicorns are pink



Elephants are half elephant half elephant



Vampires are half human half bat

Werewolves are half human half wolf

So if one bites you be worried about rabies
Track Name: crack away yr tepid shell - cassandra troyan
I look like a nightmare seahorse, all scales and braying
a surrogate mother born into a chemical world.

I wonder what my father thinks
of Madonna.

This winter, like every winter almost killed me.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it.

The Baroque has always been violent
pushing me down with its horse-hoofed hands.

I am alive because I am a dog
not because I have a spirit I am not a horse.
Track Name: i am a field mouse! - nathan springer
hey
i'm only going to say this twice

i am a field mouse

i am a field mouse

thousand foot tall sunflowers
and wheat growing everywhere
Track Name: someone on tv told me how we can be in love wow - nathan masserang
I heard somewhere they are making new episodes of The OC.
I don’t know if it’s true, but we need to be prepared.
Come over. Watch seasons one through four with me.
This is so important to me. I need you to value my opinions.

Yesterday, the public radio station said that a truck full of bad meat
headed to Chicago was stopped in Niles before it was eaten.
The meat company blamed the trucker.
The trucker blamed the meat company.

We should lie about our lives using public radio, too.
This American Lie can be our show.
We can make up stories about how we almost ate that meat.
We can have the meat company and the trucker on the show
and they can argue and we can laugh at them.
Radio can be the only thing in between us and success.

We should go to Niles right now.
We can hop a train and I’ll take you there.
We can reassess our vegan lifestyles there.
I will hold you when you are tired.

We are now running through farm fields because they don’t have them Orange County.
At least they aren’t as cold or sprawling as the fields in Orange County.
We are trying to find an empty box car to jump in along the train tracks.
We are falling down, almost being crushed beneath mass transit.

But we’re okay.

We just watched all four seasons, all ninety-two episodes.
Finally, we are sharing an understanding of fictitious people.

And I will kiss you after a cornstalk bends back and hits you in the face.
And I will kiss you atop the pile of bad meat found in Niles.
And I will kiss you on the train tracks as the train moves over us.
And I will kiss you during the final moments of season four
and everything will come full circle.

Like TV should.
Like we should.
Track Name: the cut is the crawl - cassandra troyan
sometimes i say things that might be words.
as i am almost always exhausted
living in the ether of the bad object's seriality.

making reality tiny and
hatred is a thought made in the mouth

how cheap is life
how thick my pain mymymymymymymymy
yumyumyumyum

of course the real friend is the true enemy
and you can try to push yourself up against
a shadow but that doesn't mean yr dancing

i would love to find a way to help you fist yr enigma.
flush it clean out.

yr washed out gutter sling
makes my glitter punched jaw sing
the practice of language’s failure
who says you get to touch it, save your come for me.

beyond the vernacular of what do you want to do to me yes i am good what can i do for you will this please you yes please oh please but baby please let me come i’ve been so good i promise i haven’t come without you.

if we can’t allow ourselves the dignity of drama then what do we really have.
Track Name: i made friends with a family of dead squirrels! - nathan springer
my mom left for a few days
so im taking care of the house

i checked in the shed for
the mummies, but they were gone

so please, come over
and pay a compliment
to the family of dead squirrels
behind my shed, they need
it more than i do

the horsehead nebula sits in the center
of a circle of rhododendrons
in my backyard, my mom will
be home on saturday
Track Name: she was taught when she was young to only ever own enough to fill a single bag - jackson nieuwland
She grew up one night (breasts and hips and hair).

She woke up and opened up the window.

She received the paper plane with closed eyes.

She unfolded paper and eyelids like mirrors.

She lit the lamps, candles, and fireplace with a single glance.

She read and her irises turned red as arteries.

She refolded the finished page into a rose.

She placed the paper in the vase and threw the vase in the flames.

She watched the glass melt into fire.

She stood and began to pack her bags.

She lay her largest suitcase open on the bed.

She slotted the next one snugly inside it.

She heaved the punching bag inside of that.

She fitted each of her bags inside bags inside.

She removed the bags from beneath her eyes and tipped the tears to the floor.

She put purses in pouches in backpacks.

She rolled her sleeping bag into a bag of its own.

She found a rip in the seam of a book bag and sewed it closed with a strand of hair.

She fit them together like a jigsaw puzzle.

She placed a key in the smallest bag and zipped them all shut.

She slipped into jeans and jacket and zipped them shut too.

She closed her eyes and lips so no one could follow her.

She tipped a candle on the table and walked out the door.
Track Name: watercolor paintings! cats! - nathan springer
the only coherent thought that i can form
is 'i can't form any coherent thoughts'

you are standing in my back yard
holding two watercolor paintings,
they turn into cats and live with me
for several years

the cats trust me, because
all of us have been a jaguar at some
point or another, especially my little brother

i sit indian style and wipe you
off the face of the earth with a
single text message,
fucking sweet
Track Name: fear snubbed it out - cassandra troyan
i once listen to tom wait’s “fawn” 71 times while masturbating.

i just used my hand.

i rubbed myself raw until
the sweat and tears and blood
made a chum paste which became an armature
for my idolatry aka there is a sweetness in wanting
to be an animal.
only fawns are tender.
only we are wanting; others just are.

I'M A PERSON JUST LIKE YOU
BUT I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO
THAN SIT AROUND AND FUCK MY HEAD

trade in your bullet vest
for a jersey and steal
the fucking keg man
ya do it for the band.

what is a blood line
what does it mean
when you buy it

to get fucked
by three guys
face down on a coffee table
in a room full of friends.
what does it mean to watch.
what does it mean to like it.

WAKE&BAKE SIP THAT LEAN
YOU CAN SMOKE
THAT GREEN GET HIGH.

when your guts dehisce
that juiced hose black and slippery
back out to the block out

shots of 151 until you come to right as
walking up the stairs drinking a handle of Jack
and eating an orange creamsicle oh this is not
what was happening before always moving.
the strangled pain of transit
as no thoughts happen in stillness.
somersault through the front door
then ring the bell at 4 am and why not drink
a liter of vodka and take 12 vicodin

death is a great way to peacefully
reencounter yourself.
Track Name: somewhere in the bottom of the rain - steve roggenbuck
the news said that a family got lost in a corn maze
and was still in there at night and
they called 911
to get out of the maze
the news said that most people finish the maze in 25
minutes but this
family was in there for 4 hours and
i will kis you sitting on the pier of the
shalow river and
i will kis you in your
cars back seat on the gravel turnaround in the
rain and i will even kis you
another time
pushed against a dead tree in the back of a graveyard

im sory i like you better than everything
i want to whisper into your smile
come watch cops
with me
you make me need to write love poems
this is what i might whisper in the rain
come over and
nap with me i want you
i sleep like a raccoon in you
i sleep in you
like i am a raccoon somewhere
do you ever want
to climb into a birch tree with me
somewhere
in the bottom of the rain i want you

i turn you with slow animals
i turn you in the
dark trees
i have you with me in the dark trees
i am tryig to put you somewhere else in the
dark trees too
i am like the giraffe of you
wow
i am kising 25 birds when i kis you

four hours of rain in the corn
i kis you and i dream that i am a raccoon

you trip and u
fall and
instead of geting up you stay down and
i kis you on the ground
in a corn field
at night

i am with you pushing flowers in the open mouth
i am with u pressing rain to the
frosted window
it is even hard to cry now

in december michigan there wil be a snow bank
somewhere of u and me and
your warm
legs and i am in between kissing u
sweet drems you are very beautiful
i wil sing to
you justin bieber with my lips
on you and
my hands on you so
thank you i am far into the warm tunnels
of you
i will bring to
you my warm dark we are under a pine
tree and
it is mid night so
thank you i am deep into the rain of you
Track Name: the illuminati jokebook - crispin best
where do babies come from?
babies come from their dicks same as anyone
u big dummy

i want to get drunk and look at a candle with you tonight
snowboarding horses couldn't stop me

i'm an optimist
that's what i like about you

when we fit ourselves together
we are truly a power rangers
the black ranger the white ranger the asian ranger

i read about a swimming pool next to a crematorium
they actually use the heat from cremations to warm the pool
thats me and you
those two stupid buildings

we’re gonna forget so damn much when we’re dead
like why are they even called cobwebs
i'm sorry i didnt realise a spider
is actually a sweetcorn

i am a long night at the river with you

my peanut butter and jam both ran out in the same sandwich
so truely romance is alive in the world today

if i ever become an awesome rocket launcher then please
just shoot me

well now look at us
all green kissing
in the light of the exit sign

finally